The Second Coming of Smooth Jesus

Y'know, I've given this rant a tagline that I don't think I've been very true to. It's a story about:

Cars

Beer

Music (by Smooth Jesus himself)

and Dogs

All this time, I've been going on and on about cars (and a little about dogs). And you, dear reader, let me get away with it. How do you sleep at night? I'll let you off the hook this time and remedy one of these failings. Today, we'll talk about music. Or more specifically, about getting new music in a busted old Volvo.

Concourse aficionados beware, as with most of my brutish tasks on this project, this is not done with an eye toward originality. Originality would leave me with a single 4x6 speaker and an AM/FM radio. Originality will not rock out. Let's go shopping.

The Horror!

What we have here are a set of 6x9" speakers for a little bit of bump in the trunk (not to be confused with junk in the trunk), a set of 6.5" components for the main event, a four channel amplifier to power the whole shebang, a bunch of wires, all driven by a new head unit from RetroSound.

Let's start with the head unit. Here's a breakdown of my options:

• Use a standard DIN stereo. Pros: Best sound and features for the price. Cons: Requires additional dash carving, will look out of place
• Rebuild an original stereo with modern guts. Pros: Looks 100% original. Cons: High cost, need to source an original radio (even higher cost), and I really don't care if it looks 100% original.
• Get a modern stereo designed to look old. Pros: Fits with the design of the dash, generally provides a flexible installation. Cons: Somewhat higher cost than a typical head unit

I did some considerable research before shelling out for the RetroSound Model 2. Aesthetically, the manufacturer offers a staggering array of faceplate and knob kits to match virtually any installation. Mechanically, it has a fantastic bracket system allowing for extremely flexible installation options. Electronically it has five channel pre-amp outputs, two each USB and AUX inputs, and Bluetooth integration with my phone, or your phone if you've got a better Pandora station than I do.

In the box is a huge bag of nuts and screws, another bag full of plastic spacers and washers, two mounting brackets, the radio, and the controls and knobs. You'll need two spacers and six nuts. Use the rest to decorate your bicycle for Burning Man. You damn dirty hippie.

Brackets go here

I mounted the brackets fairly far forward. It could be more forwarder, but it's easier to get the spacers just right. Shove the shafts through the brackets. One thing you can't see is the nut I put on the base of the shaft (no, stop that. Gods, you're childish) so the weight of the radio is supported by the threaded shaft rather than the by plastic control box on the back. Y'know, now that I look at it, I think I used eight nuts. Anyhow, sandwich the bracket with nuts, then place another nut and a spacer in front of it (use washers, you've got a million of them in there).

Front-ish View

My dash opening was a bit bigger than needed to fit the stereo through. The plan is to support the front weight of the radio by sandwiching the dash between the big damn plastic spacers and the faceplate. The back view kinda sorta shows how we accomplish this, but not really. How to explain... Flat vertical dash part goes between the black circle and the shiny rectangle. Got it? Good.

Back-ish View

 This might be enough to hold all of the weight of the radio. It's not that heavy and it's really quite secure. Of course, it might also succumb to all that weight cantilevered off the back and snap the faceplate, spacers, or dashboard. A flexible metal strap serves the dual purpose of grounding the radio to the chassis and supporting the rear weight of the radio. Use it. You can also see that it's kind of a tight fit around the windshield wipers, but it doesn't interfere.

Don't make fun of my rusty nether-regions. Also, my clock works. Jealous much? Yer jealous.

I spaced the front so the nuts have exactly as many threads as they need - more would make the knobs stick out more than I'd want. Use washers to distribute the force - after all, the faceplate is helping hold the radio in place.

Complimentary Screen Protector! All original plastic wrap!

Attach the knobs, take some pictures, drink some beer, glue the bottle cap to a magnet, and put it on your dash. Life is good. Maybe next time I'll tell you how to make it do something besides sit there looking pretty.

Give her some funked up music, she treats you nice.