Suspended Development

This car spent a long time in the desert. Many juicy bits dried out. A few dry bits got juicy. You might recall a few weeks or months or however ago back, I mentioned the first few rides in the car. Rides that were, in a word, miserable. Clunking and thunking over ever pothole does not inspire confidence. So, I dug into the front suspension, and it's a damn good thing I did.

Looks OK from here!

The Volvo 1800 has a rather traditional double wishbone suspension. What this means is the wheel axle is suspended between two A-shaped (or "wishbone") control arms, which allows the wheel to remain more or less vertical throughout the suspension travel. This gives us moving parts more or less at either end of each control arm, plus whatever's needed to make the car steer. The car-side of the control arms mount to rubber bushings whose job is, quite simply, to allow a little bit of movement without a rough metal on metal contact. The wheel-side of the control arms mount to a ball-joint which looks just about exactly as you'd expect - a ball with a stick poking out of it. The stick can move in pretty much any direction. Ball joints are generally grease filled, though modern ones are generally "sealed" which is old-car-guy talk for "cheap crap with no place for me to stick my grease gun." Honestly, I don't know which is better. You guys can argue about it for a while. Go ahead, we'll wait.

Done? Good, look at this!

Uhm...

You know that time you made an ill-planned overtake on a two lane highway? Or perhaps that time somebody else made an ill-planned overtake into your lane? This ball joint gives me just about the same queasy feeling. It's almost taunting. "All I needed was two more good jostles to pop right outta here and drop your wheel off the side of the road!" And here I was worried about that fire extinguisher...

Now, back to the rubber bits. As you might imagine, a long time in the desert was not good to the rubber bits. Most were just dry, crackly, and a bit loose. One was just about completely gone allowing the parts to flop around. Several suppliers have new polyurethane bushings that should get the car back to better-than-new condition. I picked up a set from IPD, along with a new sway bar kit. A bushing job on this car is really quite straighforward, provided all the moving parts still move. The basic procedure goes like this (note: do not attempt to use these directions for anything at all):

• Jack up the front end of the car and remove the wheels - don't lose these, you'll need them later

• Remove what might have been a shock absorber sometime in the 60s but is now just a couple of pieces of metal grinding on each other

• Using a big mallet, large ball joint splitter, and lots of harsh criticism, split the lower ball joint. If you failed to support the lower control arm, you'll need to deftly dodge the spring and shower of car parts that will inevitably be flung at your head. When you return from the hospital, you'll need to peruse eBay for replacement control arms, brakes, hubs, ball joints, and anything else you just broke. If you did support the lower control arm, just get a brake line to replace the one you busted when you failed to support the hub/brake assembly.

SPROYOYOING!!

• Remove the bolt holding the lower control arm to the chassis. You will be using a mallet on it because it's 45 years old and there is no way in hell everything is still nice and straight.
• Split the upper ball joint, then remove the remaining bolts holding the upper control arm in place. Nothing will go wrong with this part of the process, unless of course somebody had replaced the control arm with an older one that won't fit your new ball joint. In which case, order a new control arm.

While waiting for your replacement control arm to arrive, under no circumstances should you clean the garage or pick up your tools. You'll need them right where you left them two weeks ago.

Should just about do it...

• The lower arms need a press to remove the old bushings and put in the new ones. Take these to somebody smarter than you, because after the whole spring explosion you really shouldn't be around high-pressure parts anymore.

• Replace all of the ball joints. They aren't that expensive, and you're already this far in anyway. Plus, you broke the old ones with the ball joint splitter, you brute.

Also, order new boots for your old-stock joints. Trust me.

• Reassemble everything in reverse order, keeping in mind that you will probably need to put those big gnarly lower control arm bolts in the freezer to get them back through the twisted hole they came out of. Locktite everything. Twice. Also, anti-seize it, for redundancy.

• Send somebody you trust but aren't particularly close to on the first test drive. Don't let them bring your dog, y'know, just in case. Not that anything would go wrong, of course. After all, you did locktite everything, didn't you?

Good as new!

If you've got a good eye, you might have noticed something is missing... New bushings are in, new ball joints installed, new springs installed, new shocks.... a gorgeous set of Koni Classics sitting in a box waiting for their mounting plates to dry.

Why didn't you plan ahead for me?

So, what to do while we wait? Let's go ahead and empty another big box from the basement. IPDs big beefy front sway bar comes with all the remaining front bushing bits that weren't replaced earlier.

I think I just blue myself.

Easy to install, waaay more blue than the old part. Definitely worth the time and effort. Sometime tomorrow I'll install the shocks, but you guys sure won't find out how that goes.

Stay Squishy, my friends.

Happy Holidays!

This was sposed to be done around Thanksgiving, so I could go down the typical list of things I'm thankful for. Guess I didn't finish writing it in time. Oh well, Happy Holidays!! My favorite gifts for the year are my girl, my family, my dog, beer, and my Volvo (see what I did there?). Next question please.

Oh, you want to hear more? OK, let's start with the girl. Let me tell you a little story. It starts, as so many bad decisions do, with an ad on Craigslist...

P1800 Sports Car. Super Nice. Ran When Parked.

The Folly of Craig

So, I peruse the Craigslists quite often. I see what neato cars are listing for this week. I look at motorcycles and dream of a life in a larger garage. Some time about two years ago I saw a weird old Volvo and managed to overcome my fears and put it in my garage.

But there's the problem. You see, the fear of the weird wasn't just the only thing holding me back from starting something new. It was also the only thing keeping me from diving off the cliff. From becoming an old car guy. You know, the masculine equivalent of the cat lady. Old cars parked everywhere. Transmissions and longblocks lining every shelf. Permanent blackened fingernails.

Gross.

And then there's Craig the Enabler. A whole pound full of sad little cars just begging for me to take home and give better lives. And now, with that fear of an unending march of litter boxes gone, they can all be mine.

Temper Your Enthusiasm

So, why isn't my garage full of cars and associated paraphernalia? This girl right here:

 (In the red, not the blue)

I showed her the very first Craigslist photo of the Volvo and she asks "Why?" I show her pictures of complete ones and she says "ooh pretty... looks like a lot of work." I say it's cheaper than divorce and go buy it anyway (remember boys and girls, it's easier to ask forgiveness than permission). She warmed to the idea of a project car pretty quickly when it got me to stop playing video games.

She's pretty good about not letting me take on new projects while I still have that god damned 240sx sitting in the driveway. God, she hates that car. I don't see why though. It's quick, it's light, it's fun, and it packs easily into overhead bins!

Who, Me?

Which is why I was shocked and amazed when I showed her a picture of an old Mercedes wagon (TURBODIESEL!!!) and her first words weren't "I've gotten you an appointment with the therapist for your problem. Isis and I will be living with my mother for a few weeks." Maybe she likes the thought of me putting my spare time into something more productive than practicing for Jeopardy tryouts. Maybe she appreciates me putting time and effort into something I really enjoy.

Or maybe, just maybe, it's her way of getting rid of the 240sx. "Oh those are cool! Just gotta get rid of the 240!"

...We're gonna need a bigger garage.